Portfolio Reflection- Beach pg. 36
“Reflect back to your own adolescent years and recall your own reading and media interests. What are some reasons for your engagement with particular books, films, TV programs, music and/or video games? How did those interests/preferences reflect your particular needs and traits as an adolescent?“
As a teen, my reading and media interests varied. I liked to watch and read about the unnecessarily provocative and unrealistic sexual lives of fictional characters, If only my parents knew what I was actually reading... I also enjoyed the typical young adult literatures of fantasy, adolescent rebellion and puppy love. One of my favorite things to read were self-help books, Chicken Soup for the Soul was my bible. Sometimes I enjoyed a good murder-mystery and even children’s books; Henry & Mudge was my favorite as a tween!
I feel like I read a lot of the teen dramas out of curiosity and to fit in with my peers. I enjoyed fantasy and romance because it was a fun escape from the real world. I went as far as to imagine myself in the characters’ shoes and found it easy and enjoyable to pretend to live like them. I liked the romance genre because it gave me an idea on, what at the time I thought, love should be like, since it wasn’t exactly the emotion portrayed in my home. This also made me quite in tune to my sexuality because at a young age I was able to accept being bisexual, but not having actual people in my life who supported that was devastating, so it was nice to be able to read other people's stories on that, so I knew I wasn't alone or unlovable. To this day I still read self-help books, I like feeling humble, appreciative and self-less, and those aren't my everyday emotions that I usually express, so it has always been a pleasant experience to learn to be grateful of the little things and to become a better person. Although I have always been aware of my flaws, it still took me becoming an adult to actually be able to change those negative aspects that I portrayed and picked up as a teen. Children’s books were also great; they brought me back to a happy childhood, where I could feel carefree and innocent joy opposed to what a teenage narcissist would believe to be, life ruining drama.
Unfortunately, reading these kinds of literature and watching these trashy shows made me not necessarily naive, but slightly careless. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of reality and what was wrong with the world, I just sort of pushed it in the back of my mind. I also was capable of becoming a bit too enveloped in these works of fiction and ridiculous TV shows to where I had trouble accepting reality as it was, and always longing for something else or to be older, instead of appreciating what I had and living in the now. I also think it made me know a bit too much for my age, which didn’t exactly help me in life. Even now, I still have trouble accepting things as they are, and learning to let things go, I’m always looking for the fairy tale life, but let’s face it, I will never be that perfect main character and my life will never be a Disney movie, but that’s ok. J